The Point of No Return

It had to happen eventually, the point when friends become more important than family.  It started for "T" in March of 2014.  He didn't really have a lot of friends (namely friends that were boys) or have a great desire to hang out with anyone often.  The "husbird" and I worried about him finding some great guy friends. He finally found one and they started spending a lot of time together, every weekend, and sometimes during the week as well.  His new friend came from a good family and the two of them had a lot in common. We were thrilled.  

"T" started to see some things in his new friend that he didn't like. After about 6 months (the honeymoon phase) they spent less and less time together.  I tried to tell him that he won't find a perfect friend and to try to be understanding of others faults.  This was the second time this had happened with a friend. To no avail, by the end of the summer they never saw each other anymore.  I had to trust him to do what he felt was right.
Thank goodness school was starting soon and he made friends with another guy.  His friend has had some issues in his life, but so far they have been friends for about a year.  Yay!  

They have made friends with a few amazing girls as well.  I wish I had a picture of the other girls in their little group.  There are a bunch of girls and then the two of them, the only boys.  Ha ha.  They all get along so well and hang out as much as possible.  

When the boys had to work on making a video for school all day one Saturday the two girls above came over with all kinds of food and made them waffles.  How nice is that?!  They are also teaching "T" how to treat me better.  They call him out when he talks back to me and tell him, "Go give your mom a hug." Gotta love those kinds of friends.

Even though I don't always see him as much as I'd like I'm so grateful he has found such great friends that are positive influences in his life, especially going into his high school years this fall.

Livng with a Challenging Child

I've hesitated to write about this for a while.  I know there are many people that deal with difficult children, so I have felt silly telling anyone about G's behavior issues.  But, I have felt very isolated and lonely, because no one knows what my daily life is really like.  I'm hoping opening up about it will help me deal with it better.  

Ever since baby G could crawl and pull up on furniture he has been challenging, sometimes more than others. You've probably heard the saying, "the squeaky wheels gets the oil."  He is our squeaky wheel and he demands oil.

Before I had my miscarriage he was extremely busy, into EVERYTHING, and threw things at me daily.  We assumed he would out grow the "stage" he was in and after much prayer we felt like another baby was right for our family.  Well, after I miscarried things with G got worse.  He got even more difficult.  It became apparent that another baby would have complicated our life significantly.
When G gets angry, which is just about anytime he doesn't get his way, he throws anything within reach, a shoe, a toy, utensils, etc. Whoever upsets him has to watch out for flying objects.  If that doesn't work he will scratch you, hit you, or pull your hair.  He goes into a rage until he gets what he wants. We have never had a child behave like this.  It's uncharted water for us.
If that is not bad enough he has also learned how to unlock every door that leads outside.  The child locks have nothing on him.  He just rips them off.  He doesn't care if he is dressed, has shoes on, or lets me know he's leaving.  He just leaves whenever he feels like it.  He doesn't just stay in the yard either. He walks down the street. I can only imagine what my neighbors think, not that that matters at all--what matters is his safety.  
Also, he doesn't want to go anywhere.  He doesn't want to run errands, go to preschool, or go to the gyms kid care-as of this week (my only sanity).  I have to beg, plead, and bribe him to go anywhere. If at all possible we keep him at home.

So, that is what our family has been dealing with for over three years now.  If you know him, you are probably a little shocked to hear this since that is most likely not the child you know.  He behaves like a normal three year old in public. Sometimes he is. Some days are easier than others, his behavior ebbs and flows. 

His behavior affects the whole family, but mostly me, since I am with him most of the time.  I have a hard time taking a shower, making dinner, putting away laundry, or anything else without constantly checking on him.  I've resorted to putting him in the shower with me, even when he doesn't need one,  just so he's with me and I know what he is doing.  A lot in life has been put on hold as he takes so much of our time and attention. We hope he is just in a very long stage and not something more serious.

This is part of the reason I have fallen off the blog wagon. Also, life is just so full right now. It's hard to find the time to write.  I miss it immensely.

(He has this habit of doing crossed eyes for pictures)

We have been trying to handle G with as much love and patience as we can muster. Sometimes we succeed, often we fail, miserably. Then we feel awful and guilty.  There is no way to know just how exhausting life can be with a child that behaves like this is, day in and day out, unless you've lived with one.  
The saving grace is that G can be a very sweet and loving little boy when he wants to be.  He gives the best hugs in the world and tells us "I love you" and those help get us through the hard times. We pray a lot and hope as he gets older he will mature and life with him will get easier and more enjoyable.

Have you survived life with a challenging child?  How did you deal with him/her?

It’s official. I’m a soccer mom.

And I’m loving every minute of it.  Okay, not every minute, not the minutes where I have to battle with my three year old to behave and stay with us and not wander off to the nearest playground and not whine or pick on his siblings.  I love every minute that I can actually watch little "D"play soccer.  He absolutely adores it. 
The “husbird” and I are sort of in awe at how good he is at it and how much he loves it, because “T” didn't enjoy playing team sports when he was "D's"age. We tried them all and nothing stuck until he found tennis when he was twelve.   

Sometimes I make the mistake of putting all my children in a box and think that because one of them isn't good at something the others won't be either.

Well, "D" is going to be our sports playing son for sure.  It just seems to come natural to him.  I'm excited for the years of cheering him on!

Both Ends of the Spectrum

Help. I don't know how to parent anymore.  I don't know if it's the span of my kids ages, 3 to 13, or what, but I'm losing my confidence in my ability to mother my kids.  Where can I buy a manual on how to parent a difficult three year old and teenager at the same time!?  

Parenting both of those ages at once is kicking me in the rear.  I wonder if this is what it feels like to have multiple personalities, one for the little kids and one for the older ones.  I feel like a fish out of water.  I truly feel like I can't breath sometimes.  Anxiety anyone?  I guess this is what you'd call a mid life parenting crisis. 

The youngest kids need to be read to, have help with their homework, and put to bed early.  The older kids think they have to do things with friends every weekend and stay out late.  Nothing can prepare you for this, nothing.  It is exhausting to say the least.  I know I'm not the first, nor the last that has and will go through this, but heaven help me.

Our Town's "Got Talent Show"

"T" decided he wanted to try out for our little towns Talent Show.  

(Ampi-theater where he preformed)

Does any one else find it hard to see your child do something where they could get their egos crushed? I do.  I know it's good for my children to experience failure and I know it's better for them to experience it while under my wings, but it's still hard.  

There were only 11 spots for the actual show, so I thought his chance of getting one of those spots might be slim.  Well, he got one.  Yay!

He played a piano solo.  He did a good job, wish he would have smiled more;)

He didn't win, but it was a great experience for him and a really fun show to go see as a family on a summer night.

G at Three

He loves his buzz and spidey.  He refused to put them down for pictures, so I just went with it.

Grandma called to wish him a happy birthday in the middle of picture taking so he took a break to talk to her on the phone.  He would call her everyday if I let him.  
She is such a good sport to listen to him ramble on and on about all the things he sees around him.  

Mischievous doesn't even begin to describe this little guy.  We all call him the "one man wrecking crew."  Ha.
Keeping up with him on a daily basis is exhausting. His saving grace is how cute he is.  He can be incredibly sweet when he wants to be.  I'm hoping that sweetness can show up often this year;)

Traditional Balloon Launch

Just so Santa knows what the "nestlings" want for Christmas, they wrote him a note, tied it to a balloon, and let it go.  
Their balloons flew up, up in the sky until they couldn't see them any longer.  I hope they make it to the north pole;)

Advent Calendars and More

The "nestlings"got these Lego advent calendars this year.  One for the boys, one for the girls.  They get so excited each morning to see what little Lego creation awaits them.

 Billy, our elf on the shelf, has arrived.  He tries to find creative places to hide each day;)

 The little boys love to go outside and play in the snow. 

 Except Baby G hates it when I try to take his picture.  I asked him to show me his eyes and this is what I got.
The Santa at our church party was awesome, so great with the kids.
He brought big letters that spelled "JOY." He told the kids that the J stands for Jesus, the O for others, and the Y for you.
Gotta love a Santa that talks to the children about the real reason we celebrate Christmas. 

Hyper for Halloween

The "nestlings" have been super excited for Halloween.  Especially these two below.  They make me laugh, the way they love each other one moment and don't want to speak to each other the next. The "husbird" and I went to an adult only Halloween party last weekend.  We felt pretty ridiculous in our costumes, especially the "husbird"--since he was technically in a dress.  He did have shorts on underneath:) 

We didn't feel so silly when we got there and every body else was dressed up.  There's nothing quite like adult games to bring out your buried inner child.  Fun times.

Here's an attempt at a fox costume for acting/dance class for Miss "C" this week.  The fox craze lives on. Ha ha.

 

Superman trying to fly with a photo bomber clown in the back ground, aka Alyssa.

All my crazies:  Steve Jobs, A Clown, A Doctor, Superman, and A Monkey (so fitting really). 

We survived another Halloween parade, half day of school, and trick or treating night.  Now we just need to survive all the sugar highs from the candy collected.

New Bike Rider

For the second time "D" learned to ride a bike.  He learned how awhile back, but then he fell and lost his nerve and wanted his training wheels put back on.  He officially knows how now.  It's so great to have four kids that know how to ride their own bike.  We've only got Baby "G" left  to teach in a couple of years. 
This summer one of my main "to-do's" was to get everyone workings bikes with helmets.  First we bought miss "A" a cruiser.  Then I found a company that sells solid tires, with no inner tubes in them.  The "husbird" was so sick of fixing flats.  Now three of the four kids bikes have solid tires, so happy about that.  That means NO MORE FLAT REPAIRS.  We needed to buy a couple of helmets.  "T"s was done for and I finally gave in and bought miss "C" a smaller helmet.  Hers never really fit her head, flopped all over.  She has the smallest head ever.   You would never know what an endeavor or work it is to outfit seven people with helmets that fit and bikes that work.  
DONE and DONE.  Feels so good.  Until next year. 
If the "nestlings" would just quit growing.

Play Dough Made at Home

I decided play dough was in order to make it through the day.  I made this recipe and the "nestlings" spent hours playing with it.
In cooking pan measure:
2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup salt
2 pkgs unsweetened Kool-aid
Add:
3 Tbsp. oil
2 cups boiling water
Cook until mixture pulls away from the pot, lumps together and is thick like mashed potatoes.
Cool then, when completely cool, put in zip lock bag. 
Miss "A" and her friend made all kinds of things with it.  I placed an order for cinnamon rolls and they got busy making them.
The little boys did their own thing, cutting, rolling, and shaping. 
I could kiss whoever invented play dough right now.

Ipod Idol

If you want to have a good laugh then you've got to play Ipod idol.  After learning about it from a friend I knew we had to do it for family home evening one night. 
We all decided the song we wanted to memorize and sing a week before the big day, so we'd have time to learn it.  Then we used some big headphones, an Ipod, and our best singing voices when the day arrived.  
If you haven't played it-- the idea is that you can hear the music, but no one else can and you sing out loud. 
We were pretty shocked at some of the performances in a good and bad way.  Ha ha.
 Little "D" definitely took the prize for most effort, the "husbird" for most screaming.  Oh my, it was fun! But, I don't think any of us will be trying out for any singing competitions any time soon.

Teendoom Hood

Well, we did it.  We entered the teen years at our nest.  "T" went and turned thirteen without asking permission.  He's still a little boy in some ways.  He builds Lego creations for hours and plays with them while making sound effects. 
At the same time he takes off on his bike to the tennis courts on his own to play tennis for hours with a friend.  I'm glad he's not all grown up yet and still has some kid tendencies.  I'll be sad to see those go, so I guess I'll have to keep supporting his Lego addiction and anything else that keeps him a kid longer.
For his birthday the "husbird" and I took him to a water park.  We asked him if he wanted to invite friends and he didn't want to, so it was just the three of us.  I know it won't be long before all he wants to do is hang out with friends so I was thrilled to get this one on one time with him.  It was overcast and kind of cold, so we didn't last as long as we thought we would.  When we left we took him to ride go-carts and play a few arcade games to make it up to him.
We're proud of him for so many reasons, the way he honors his priesthood and his effort to get and keep straight A's in all his classes at school just to name a couple.  Happy Birthday to Our First Teenager!  We love you!