Today I took "T's" registration papers to the Junior High he'll be attending in about a month. As soon as the secretary handed me his schedule with his locker number and combination a load of emotions flooded my heart, much like the emotions I had after I gave birth to him and how overwhelmed I felt when I left the hospital with him not knowing how to care for him.
I wanted to shelter him from the world then and I want to shelter him still today. I want to protect him from feeling alone in a sea of kids, from bullies, from foul language, from immoral behavior and a whole slew of other things.
I feel the need to love him more and to be there when he gets home from school, which I always have been, but I think he'll need that even more now than before. Sometimes I think parents make the mistake of thinking their kids don't need them as much as they get older, but I believe kids need their parents more, not less, just in a different way.It would feel somewhat better if the school wasn't such a maze. We went to his locker to practice opening it. Neither one of us could get it open for the longest time. It was so frustrating. I finally realized the paper had instructions on it, who knew we'd need instructions on how to open a locker. I now have his combination memorized I did it so many times, brings back memories.
Then we tried to find each of his classes so he would know where to go. What a joke. The school has a horrible layout. We had the hardest time, even with a map. I'm so glad that by the the time "A" starts Junior High there will be a new junior high built.
I just want him to stay at the little elementary school down the street for rest of his life. Is that too much to ask? I guess I have to acknowledge the fact that the tiny 5 pound baby I brought home from the hospital eleven years ago is growing up. Unfortunately I can't keep him my baby forever. Sniff. He has to experience life, the good and the bad. I don't know how our heavenly father copes, sending his children down to earth, letting them go, all the while hoping and praying they chose to return to him. Letting go is hard to do.