This is a picture of my parents with four of their five children, me being the one on the left looking a little dazed. My mom can’t understand why I like this picture, hope she doesn’t get mad at me for posting it. The reason I love this picture is because it makes me feel normal. This picture depicts real life with small children. My mom looks beautiful to me even though I’m sure she was exhausted ninety five percent of the time, just like I am now.
I want to remember not just the happy moments in child rearing (which are many), but just how truly hard it was/is. With kids ranging in age from 1 1/2 to twelve I am more busy than I have ever been in my whole life. I thought I was busy with one child, even two, but I had no idea just how busy I’d be with five.
I think I have the busiest one year old that has ever existed. He is into everything, no drawer or cupboard is safe. I have a tween that is often moody and has some attitude to go with it.
Real life with five kids means much of the time I can’t think straight, especially by the end of the day. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breath and I can feel my heart racing. Can you say anxiety and mini panic attacks!?
There is just sooo much that needs to be done each day and even though at the end of each day I’m exhausted I feel like I should have done more. I should have put cute love notes in my kids lunches, given more hugs and kisses, cleaned that dirty toilet, sink, you name it. I should have wiped down the table and counters, but was too tired after making a meal for seven and cleaning it up, and making lunches for school the next day. There will always be things I can do better, things I feel guilty about.
Even though having five kids is a lot of work, more than I could have ever imagined I wouldn’t give up one of my kids because I know that God hand picked each of them just for me. He knows them and he knows me and he put us together because I was meant to be their mother. I have something to offer them that only I can and for that I am grateful.